(cw: Suicide Talk)

First off, I want to apologize for scaring people with my previous blogpost. What happened to me after posting that isn’t really important to what I wanna say, but for those who are worried about me, I’m currently safe and planning to seek help.

What I really want to say is to warn you not to do what I did. There is help, if you feel you’re going to harm yourself, ask a close one or professional to talk you out of it. It can be a family member, a friend, a therapist, a suicide hotline, just anyone you trust to give you the help you need.

Posting your serious personal issues on the internet is more often than not going to make it worse. I was lucky enough to have almost all the comments on that be supportive, but more often than not, it’s going to be people egging you on.

Not to mention there’s a risk of it turning into a “Boy Cried Wolf” situation and people will stop taking you seriously.

Second, don’t believe you are what someone calls you on the internet, do your fucking research.

The term “schizo” has just become a buzzword at this point, completely removed from its original meaning.

I remember multiple times searching up what schizophrenia was and reading that the symptoms didn’t match up with what I was told it was, yet kept gaslighting myself into believing what I was reading wasn’t the truth.

In a time where misinformation spreads so easily, you really need to check the sources on what someone says on the internet. I know “Don’t believe everything you see on the internet” is something that’s been said to death, but it really is true.

Many people, including myself take what they see on the internet at face value and don’t really look further into it. Which leads me to my final point of advice:

Get off the internet sometimes. Like a week or two long break every now and then.

As much as the internet can be a please to spread creativity and positivity, most of the time people are destructive and constantly at each other’s throats.

This amount of negativity can be super overwhelming, so just step away and do something else. Be reminded of what’s good in the world every once and awhile.

Taking a break can also give you more time doing important tasks, hanging with friends in person or with your hobbies. The world is a beautiful place and you don’t need to be glued to a screen all the time.

I don’t need to be a therapist to tell you life is worth living.

You are important and the world wouldn’t be the same without you. You matter, and you have can bring up someone else who is down.

So follow the title and spread a little positivity, it can go a long way.

https://technocookie.newgrounds.com/news/post/1387310

I’m choosing not to delete this original post so I have some positivity to look at incase I’m down

I'm super burnt out on drawing at the moment, I'm gonna give myself a few days before I start working on something again.

I know I said I'd be a month or so, but I got better much quicker than I thought. And honestly, I'm glad to be back. While I'd say getting away from the bad of the internet was for the best, that also meant getting away from the good.

Newgrounds is one of the few places left on the web where amazing creative works aren't overshadowed by negativity and people fighting over meaningless bullshit. So I'm grateful Tom and the NG crew has kept it up all these years.

As for my question, I'd be curious if any of you would be interested in me opening commissions. I've tried before but always felt weird about asking people for money, so I'd to ask first before taking any action.

I was informed by a friend that my piece for Pico-Cross got the frontpage and I just wanted to come back online real quick and say:

Holy shit! Thank you! I genuinely never thought this would happen! During my vacation from the hellish world known as The Internet, I've been avoiding doing artwork, as me overworking myself was one of the causes of my mental breakdown. However, knowing someone loved something I made that much makes me wanna do something cool again.

Though, saying I've been avoiding the internet completely is sort of a half-lie. I initially isolated myself completely from the web, but later decided only to avoid social platforms like Newgrounds, YouTube, Discord, etc. My only exception is messaging friends on Discord because I miss them.

In regards to my mental health, getting that fixed up is still taking up most of my free time. Unfortunately a therapist is out of my budget, so I've resorted to doing my own research on how to better myself. It's too early for me to tell how well that's working, but I'm staying optimistic.

As for when I'm gonna be back, maybe around a month-ish? Give or take a few days or weeks? The real answer is whenever I feel I'm in a good enough spot to come back. But I wanted to give a rough estimation for those who wanna know. This shit ain't easy, so it's gonna take time.

Anyways, welcome everyone who followed because of that piece, and I hope you enjoy what I bring in the future.

I’m so sorry if I terrified anyone over my well being, especially on Pico Day of all days.

I hit an all time low with my mental health today, and took my frustration out on people who had nothing to do with it or wanted anything to do with it.

I’m gonna be taking a long break from the internet to better try and better myself. I already called a suicide hotline today as a start. I will upload my Pico-Cross entry out out of respect for the collab organizer, but after that, you won’t be seeing me again for a while.